A Friend Like Henry

Nuala Gardner (author)

Hodder & Stoughton, UK: 2007; 338pp

ISBN: 9780340952740

Genre: autobiography

Issues: autism, disability, identity, special needs, support

Nuala and Jamie Gardner realise very early on that something is not quite right with their beautiful new son, Dale. He fails to reach significant developmental landmarks, especially those related to language.

He has some very unusual play habits and makes no effort to interact imaginatively with toys or people. He throws violent, self-harming tantrums if distressed - and often the cause of the distress is unknown or an alarmingly trivial or ordinary occurrence. While his parents are certain that something is wrong with their beloved child, local health workers seem unconcerned or disinterested and other take it upon themselves to suggest ‘more discipline'.

Nuala's boss, who has worked with such children before, eventually warns her that Dale is showing classic signs of autism. Having read everything the local library has to offer on the subject, Nuala, a nurse, quickly realises that early intervention is essential. For that to occur, Dale needs an ‘official' diagnosis. And thus begins the ‘war', as Nuala calls it - the fight to convince the many specialists, speech pathologists, educational psychologists and other health professionals, that Dale does actually have a very serious neurological problem. Nuala and Jamie are appalled to find that, instead of providing assistance, the ‘experts' are more inclined to blame the parents - especially Nuala. Outdated and disproven terms like ‘refrigerator mother' are used.

Only the loving support of Dale's grandparents give Nuala and Jamie the strength to survive the daily battles with their child and the exhausting fight to have their son's condition recognised. Finally, with the help of the Scottish Autism Society, a specialist school for autistic children, and an incredible Golden Retriever called Henry, the Gardners begin to reclaim their son from his non-communicative state.

This is a remarkably moving, and inspirational autobiography. His parents' determination that Dale will be given all that he needs, that he be taught in such a way that he can have as normal and independent a future as possible is both heart-warming and heart-wrenching, especially in the face of the incredible opposition they face from medical and educational professionals.

This is not only a book that will broaden people's awareness of the complex condition known as Autism; it is also a guidebook for those who encounter autistic individuals in their life or work. Dale's own words at the back of the book - his comments on major events described by his mother - demonstrate very clearly that just because an individual does not appear to be communicating does not mean that s/he is unaware of what is going on around them.

Even if you have no personal or professional interest in Autistic Spectrum Disorders, read this book. You will be moved and inspired by the commitment of two parents (especially an incredible mother), four grandparents, and a small group of remarkable friends, to the welfare of their children.