Understanding The Emotional, Intellectual and Social Uniqueness Of Growing Up Gifted

By Lesley Sword

When I use the label "gifted" I am referring to people of well above average intelligence. Just as there are people of well below average intelligence whose thoughts and feelings are very different from that of the general population, so too there are people of well above average intelligence whose thoughts and feelings are also very different, more complex and of greater depth. It is the combination of complex and deep thinking with rich and intense emotion that produces the gifted persons' greater potential for high achievement. The gifted intellect suggests to the gifted person a myriad of possibilities to reach an ideal. The gifted emotions provide the intense drive towards the ideals. Supporting and interacting with each other, the emotion and the intellect produce the strong will to achieve.

Intellectual Complexity: Being Out Of Step With Age Peers

Gifted children are more advanced intellectually than their age peers. They can reason more rapidly and accurately with complex abstract material. This exceptional reasoning ability enables gifted children to be more perceptive and insightful, grasping the essential elements of situations quite quickly. Insightfulness leads to unusual approaches to problem finding, problem solving and "interesting" solutions that are often not appreciated by others. Their rapid learning rate is associated with an unusually "fact retentive" memory. Resultingly, this means there is a need for constant mental stimulation, and if this need is not met problems enhanced because of boredom can result. Intellectual complexity means being able to perceive "multitudinous relationships" in all things and this leads to a need for precise facts and exactitude. Demand for accuracy, exactness, precision of thought and expression leads them to be argumentative and can be a social liability.

For gifted children, nothing is as simple as it seems so precision is needed to help sort out relationships and to enable decision making.True/false and multiple choice questions are extremely difficult for gifted children who see clearly that the answer depends on the context - they see endless shades of grey, not black and white. Seeing many layers of meaning in each situation, gifted children quickly pick up mixed messages in social situations that leaves them very confused and embarrassed.

Gifted children have more intellectual curiosity and their need to understand drives them to seek knowledge. They need to make sense of the world, to understand the world, to create their own world. Gifted children also have a need to understand themselves, who they are, what makes them who they are and how they work.

As analytical thinkers, gifted children excel at critical examination - they can take things apart in their minds and see all the intricate ways that things could be improved. Acute self-awareness results when this critical examination is turned inward and focuses upon themselves. Gifted children will be inclined to worry a great deal and be very critical of themselves. Intellectual complexity that is different from age peers can create great inner tension for gifted children. They can feel (like they are) "different", "out of place" "don't fit in" "an alien". These thoughts often lead to feelings of isolation and aloneness. Internal tension is mirrored in external adjustment difficulties such as a lack of conformity to cultural expectations based on chronological age, problems in relating to age peers and preference for older companions. (Silverman, 1993)

Lack of understanding of the nature and significance of gifted childrens' intellectual differences can result in their being seen as "weird" or "bad". Without understanding, gifted children may try to ignore or deny their differences. This can lead to social isolation and emotional problems. If gifted children do not understand their intellectual differences they will have difficulty in seeing them as positive. This can very quickly develop into low self esteem. Discussion of individual difference can promote "valuing" of differences as a positive resource in a gifted child life. Discussing difference, to help gifted children better understand giftedness, focuses less on the label and more on the accompanying behaviours - abilities such as quick learning ability and sensitivity to others' problems. It also prevents the child from equating better learner with better person.

Teachers and parents can positively reinforce gifted childrens' insightfulness by talking to that exceptionally reasoning part, asking children to solve their own problems by encouraging them to use their insight into problems to promote change. This develops the inner resources for problem resolution and builds self-confidence.

Of course, it is vitally important that gifted children be helped to find intellectual peers, others who share their curiosity, interests and values.

Emotional Intensity: The Energy That Drives The Gifted Intellect

In the field of gifted education it is often not well known that giftedness has an emotional as well as an intellectual aspect. Gifted children not only think differently from their peers, they also feel differently. Michael Piechowski explains this difference in feeling as intensity, an expanded field of subjective experience. "Intensity, in particular, must be understood as a qualitatively distinct characteristic. It is not a matter of degree but of a different quality of experiencing: vivid, absorbing, penetrating, encompassing, complex, commanding a way of being quiveringly alive". (cited in Silverman, 1993. p. 3)

Emotional intensity can be understood as a positive characteristic for gifted children in the context of Dabrowski's theory of emotional development. Emotional development is a function of the interaction between the individual's developmental potential and environment. Developmental potential comprises a person's talents, intelligence, five forms of psychic overexcitability and the capacity for inner transformation. (Dabrowski, 1972; Piechowski, 1979)

Overexcitability is a heightened capacity to respond to stimuli of various types. The term overexcitability was chosen to convey the idea that the stimulation is well beyond average in intensity and duration. Overexcitabilities can be thought of as an abundance of physical, sensual, creative, intellectual and emotional energy that can result in creative endeavours as well as advanced emotional and ethical development in adulthood. As such, they are a positive force for the gifted, as they feed, enrich, empower and amplify talent. (Piechowski, 1999)

Overexcitabilities are assumed to be innate and appear in five forms in the gifted:

• Psychomotor - Surplus of energy, restless, curious.
• Sensual - Sensory and aesthetic pleasure.
• Intellectual - Strong signs of analysis and synthesis, theoretical thinking, probing questions, learning, problem solving.
• Imaginational - Vivid fantasy life, spontaneous imagery, sensitive to imaginary realities.
• Emotional - Intensity of feeling - complex emotions and feelings, extremes of emotion, sensitivity, identification with the feelings of others, difficulty adjusting to change.

(Dabrowski, 1972; Piechowski, cited in Silverman, 1993)

Emotional intensity is positively correlated with intelligence and so the higher the intellectual level, the more emotionally intense a gifted child will be. Emotional intensity is expressed by the gifted through a wide range of feelings, attachments, compassion, heightened senses of responsibility and scrupulous self-examination. While these are normal for the gifted and appear very early in gifted children, they are often mistaken for emotional immaturity rather than as evidence of a rich inner life. (Piechowski 1986)

If gifted children do not understand that emotional intensity is normal for them, they may see their intense inner experiences as evidence that something is wrong with them. Other children may ridicule a gifted child for reacting strongly to an apparently trivial incident thereby increasing the child's feeling of being odd. Also, sensitivity to society's injustice and hypocrisy can lead many emotionally intense gifted children to feel despair and cynicism at very young ages. Gifted children need significant adults in their lives to understand that it is natural for them to feel deeply and intensely and to experience a wide range of emotions and not interpret their intensity as over reaction or emotional immaturity. It is important to take time to listen to their feelings and appreciate their sensitivities, intensities and passions. However, gifted children need to realise that sensitivity does not mean weakness and so they should not be over protected from the world and from the consequences of their actions.

Teachers and parents can help emotionally intense gifted children to accept their rich inner world of experience and to value it as a strength. If emotional intensity is seen and presented positively to gifted children they can be helped to understand and value their emotions. In this way they will be empowered to express their unique selves in the world and use their gifts and talents with confidence and joy.

Idealism Not Perfectionism

Idealism in the gifted is inextricably linked to exceptional abstract reasoning ability. Idealism is an abstract intellectual concept - a vision of what is possible, what could be. It is a positive quality - the driving energy that propels gifted children forward towards achievement. Problems arise when idealism becomes perfectionism, when what "could be" becomes what "should be" - an imperative!

Perfectionism can be observed in very young gifted children because of the lack of synchrony between their intellectual and physical development. This lack of synchronicity creates great inner tension, such as the case of a five-year old child perceiving a horse through eight-year-old eyes not being able to replicate the horse in clay with her five-year-old fingers. She screams in frustration. (Morelock, 1992)

The gap between a child's advanced intellectual capability and more age-appropriate social and physical skills can lead to unrealistic expectations for performance by both gifted children, their parents and their teachers. Young children become frustrated when their limited physical capabilities prevent the construction of the complex projects created by their extremely capable intellect. Adults expecting social maturity to match high level intellectual development may label a highly articulate, logical child as a behaviour problem when he or she exhibits an age-appropriate tantrum. (Roedell, 1984)

Often adults in gifted childrens' lives, directly or implicitly, reinforce perfectionism by placing on them expectations of high performance all the time in everything. Because gifted children are often emotionally sensitive to the expectations of others, they feel obliged to meet them. Unfortunately, they often meet them at the cost of denial and suppression of their own passion, their own self. (Grant & Piechowski, 1999)

Perfectionism can also be applied to the gifted self. Ideal standards of thinking and behaviour are set that propel gifted children towards higher level self-development. However, problems can arise when they are not able to live up to these standards and blame themselves for not being good enough. Gifted children rarely compare themselves with their classmates. Instead they tend to think of what they know in relation to what there is to know on any given subject and find themselves lacking. They are highly self critical and over reactive to the criticism of others. They express dissatisfaction with themselves seeing what "ought to be" in themselves and being unhappy with the "what is". These children have a vision of perfectionism that they measure themselves against and they can become despondent sometimes even depressed, at their perceived failure. (Silverman, 1993)

Teachers and parents can foster idealism by explaining it to gifted children and that resources, including time, are not unlimited and therefore perfection is not possible. Also, that while ability may be innate, skills are built up over time by experience. It is important that gifted children are encouraged to explore the process of learning and not only focus on the outcome. It is also helpful to present mistakes as learning experiences and to teach them how to set priorities, help them to realise it is not possible to be a perfectionist in all things at once.

Expanded Moral Awareness: The Potential For Advanced Emotional And Ethical Development

Moral concern can be observed in even very young gifted children. It is an expression of intellectual intensity. When combined with sensitivity and empathy, which are expressions of emotional intensity, it is transformed into moral commitment.

Smutny (1998, p.10) explains how gifted children feel deeply for others. "They sense the joys, pains, sorrows and hopes of family members, friends, classmates and sometimes become distressed when they cannot alleviate the problems of others......gifted children will often weep at the cruel treatment of an animal. They will frequently ask questions and express concern about world problems - poverty, war, environmental devastation". This empathy for the suffering of others makes gifted children particularly vulnerable to the many forms of insensitivity they see on television, at school or in the world around them. Often these children feel powerless to act and this sense of helplessness can lead them to despair and guilt as they feel a responsibility for these situations.

Because of their intellectual complexity, gifted children are able to consider the possibilities of how things in the world might be. At the same time they can see how far short the world is falling of their ideal and they feel keen disappointment and sometimes despair. When they try to share their concerns with others, they are often met with reactions such as denial, minimising, puzzlement or hostility. (Webb, 1998)

DeLisle (1992, p.169) points out that today's generation of children is the first one in history to receive news about the world, about crises, at the same time as world leaders. "With the flash of a news bulletin…. undigested raw material is laid before the eyes and minds of children who mat be left on their own to consider its ramifications." Gifted children, who have a heightened moral awareness, often respond to this with concern, fear, anxiety and a profound sense of helplessness.

It is important for educators to explain and explore some of the world's problems and possible solutions. As gifted children are concerned about political and social problems, values and moral ethics, they need to be exposed at an early age to areas of the curriculum, such as Science, Social Studies and Philosophy, where these issues can be explored. (VanTassel - Baska, 1998) Educators of gifted children should nurture consciousness, concern, personal responsibility and commitment so that these students will feel equipped to use their talents towards the resolution of global problems. (Passow, 1988) Gifted children can also be encouraged to undertake projects or community service to alleviate their sense of helplessness.

The Gifted Introvert: The Rule Rather Than The Exception

In Western society, extraverts outnumber introverts 3 to 1. They are more vocal than introverts and are more understandable than introverts. However, it appears that introversion increases with intelligence so that the majority of gifted children are introverts. (Silverman, 1988)

Introversion and extraversion are personality types; two complementary ways of operating in the world. The extravert's main interests are with the outer world of people and "things" while the introvert is more involved in the inner world of concepts and ideas. People have both introversion and extraversion in their personalities and are thus not limited either to the inner world or the outer world. However, they have a natural preference for either introversion or extraversion, rather like a preference for right or left handedness. The preference can be slight or quite marked. Introversion and extraversion are aspects of human personalities and should not be labelled right or wrong, nor should one be judged better or worse than the other.

Because of their focus on their inner world, introverts tend not to learn by trial and error. They understand through observation and prefer not to act or respond without thoughtful consideration. Introverts will take in information and perhaps ask a few clarifying questions. They will not frequently interrupt with the questions and comments that most extraverts are prone to do. Introverts need time "to digest" information before responding to it. They characteristically pause before action. This pause, often called hesitation by others, gives them time to study and classify a new situation so the action taken will make sense in the long run.

Introverts prefer to work with people individually rather than in large groups. They are likely to go deeply into their work and are reluctant to call it finished. When they do display their work they tend to give only their conclusions, without details of what they did. They need time to reflect, time to ponder possible solutions to problems and time to let emotions settle down before they can talk about them.

Tensions can develop when the introvert is in the minority in the classroom, where the prevailing climate is established/controlled by the predominant extraverts. If too much togetherness with others is demanded, the development of ideas is inhibited. Also, introverts need time to reflect on a question before answering and in an analysis of taped classroom discussion it was found that teachers tend to wait less than one second for students to reply to their questions. (Rowe ,1974 cited in VanTassel - Baska, 1998)

Parents and teachers need to appreciate personality differences and understand that they lead to differences in points of view. They should not try to turn introverts into extraverts; introversion is perfectly normal and does not need "curing". Using this understanding they can foster discussion so that explanations of personality both affirm and challenge children. Introverted gifted children need to be provided with opportunities to talk without pressure and be given quiet space, time out, privacy and time to reflect. Introverts have a deep, inherent need for privacy, they get embarrassed easily by either public censure or praise. It is also vital to understand the importance of maintaining their confidentiality.

If introversion is understood and accepted, gifted children have a place in which to be themselves. But if children suspect that their teachers or parents want them to be different, to fight against their introversion, then the children lose trust and confidence in themselves. When others are accepting of their introversion, gifted children will be able to learn how to be extravert when necessary because they know that they are always free to be introverts.

Conclusion

As teachers and parents we often focus on the intellect at the expense of the emotions.
However, neglect of the emotional lives of children impacts upon their intellectual achievements as emotions are critical to the learning process and to the full development of the individual. Gifted children have powerful resources to support themselves emotionally but they need help to apply their critical thinking, reasoning ability, inventiveness, imagination and willingness to explore to their own emotional intensity and sensitivity. They have not yet lived long enough to develop the objectivity that this would require. Parents and teachers are in the best position to help gifted children to alleviate their fears, frustrations, sadness and self - doubt by teaching them to use their prodigious intellectual abilities to support their emotional richness. (Silverman, 1988)

It is vitally important to their intellectual achievement and to their emotional development that gifted children understand themselves and that they feel accepted, understood and supported by others. This means that the adults in their lives must accept and value their own intellectual and emotional experience so that they can be positive role models for gifted children. Gifted children need the help of significant adults in their lives to accept their intellectual differences and their rich inner world of experience and value them as strengths. In this way they will be empowered to express their unique selves in the world and use their gifts and talents with confidence and joy.

References

Dabrowski. K. (1972). Psychoneuroses Is Not an Illness. London, Gryf.

Delisle. J. (1992 ). Guiding The Social And Emotional Development Of Gifted Youth. Longman Publishing Group, New York.

Grant. B.A. & Piechowski. M. M. (1999). Theories and the Good: Toward Child-Centered Gifted Education. Gifted Child Quarterly. 43 (1) 4-12.

Lind. S. (1998). A Parents Guide to Perfectionism. Communicator, CAG. 29 (3) 8-9.

Morelock. M. (1992). Giftedness: The View From Within. Understanding Our Gifted 4 (3) (1) 11-15.

Passow. A.H. (1988). Educating Gifted Persons Who Are Caring And Concerned. Roeper Review, 11(1), 13-15.

Piechowski. M. M. (1999). Overexcitabilities in: Encyclopedia of Creativity, M.A. Runco & S.R. Pritzker (Eds). Academic Press.

Piechowski. M. M. (1998). Emotional Development and Emotional Giftedness. Course Handout. Institute for Advanced Development, Gifted Development Center. Denver, Colorado.

Piechowski. M.M. (1979). Developmental Potential in: New Voices in Counseling the Gifted, N. Colangelo & T. Zaffrann Eds, Kendall/Hunt Publishing Co.

Piechowski. M. M. (1986). The Concept of Developmental Potential. Roeper Review 8, 190-197.

Roedell, W.C. (1984). Vulnerabilities of Highly Gifted Children. Roeper Review 6 (3) 127-130.

Silverman. L.K. (1998). Personality And Learning Styles Of Gifted Children in Van Tassel - Baska Ed. Excellence In Educating Gifted & Talented Learners 3rd Edition. Love Publishing Company, Denver, Colorado.

Silverman. L.K. (1993). A Developmental Model For Counseling The Gifted in: Linda Silverman Ed. Counseling The Gifted And Talented. Love Publishing Company, Denver, Colorado. USA.

Silverman. L.K. (1988) Affective Curriculum for the Gifted in Van Tassel - Baska Ed. Comprehensive Curriculum for Gifted Learners. Allyn & Bacon Inc, Massachusetts, USA.

Silverman. L.K. (1988) Personality Plus: On Introversion. Understanding Our Gifted November, 10 & 26-29.

Smutny (1998) Recognising and Honoring the Sensitivities of Gifted Children. Communicator, CAG. 29 (3) 10-11.

VanTassel - Baska (1998) Mathematics And Science For Talented Learners in Van Tassel - Baska Ed. Excellence In Educating Gifted & Talented Learners 3rd Edition. Love Publishing Company, Denver, Colorado. USA.

Webb J.T. (1998) Existential Depression in Gifted Individuals. Communicator, CAG. 29 (3) 1 & 25-26.

Lesley Sword is a psychologist and teacher who has worked with gifted children, their parents and teachers of many years. She has a particular interest in emotionally intense and creatively gifted adults and children. Lesley has worked and studied with Dr Linda Silvermand, Dr Miahael Piechowski and Dr Annemarie Roeper.

This article first appeared in Gifted and is published here with the author's permission.

 © NSWAGTC 2007

Jump to... Top | Articles Home | Info Centre

Suggestions? | Like to Help? | Disclaimer | Webmaster | Site maintained for the NSWAGTC by Austega