Montessori, private school, public school….. what’s best?

Monday, 05 May 2008 05:01

Before Sam was born, I just thought that our child would go to the local public school. Since then I've gone through an amazing learning curve... and mostly I think what I've learnt, is that it's not the school, its finding that special person in the school who cares.....

At one stage, I thought Montessori was terrific because they talk about encouraging each child to develop along their own potential and to learn life skills. Music to my ears! I was excited to find a Montessori under 3's and I also put Sam's name down for the over 3's school.

In practice, we found Montessori still boxes children as developing broadly gross motor skills, then fine motor skills, social skills, THEN cognitive/reasoning skills. Every visit, Sam was given things to do like thread beads on a string (fine motor skills), put things in a box, or butter a cracker. Sam would be so frustrated - he would throw himself on the ground, and either listlessly stare at the ceiling or stomp his feet. I asked if we could incorporate other things (cognitive skills areas) - and the teacher said: Oh, no, he's not ready for that yet! That's for much older children! I'll let him know when he's ready.

Montessori in this instance could not accommodate that Sam might be developing differently. And that to him threading beads week after week till he mastered it was as painful perhaps as making another 2 year old recite the multiplication tables week after week.

When the older school called up to say that he was accepted, I hesitated. I wanted to discuss more my concerns about his development and the program philosophy towards broadly boxing him in an age group. Even in the new school, the 3 year olds were largely separate from the 4-6 year olds. It was like questioning the holiest of religions. The lady advised there were others on the list that would be "happy to get in" and she was filling her places that day. The response was cold... and so we bowed out of Montessori....

Now we're working our way through understanding the private and public school options. I've started to find that although everyone might make a reference to "G&T programs" on their website, the reality can be quite disappointing. One private school responded: "We're quite exclusive. ALL our children are smart. Your son will be very busy just keeping up with everyone else (if you're lucky enough to get in)."

I'm sure there are good and listening people in every school system - Montessori, public, private. (Perhaps some days and some times we just hit the wrong person in the wrong role on the wrong day?) So I'm starting to feel it is less a debate between school systems - as being fortunate enough to find those caring & supportive individuals who will have a listening ear, a caring embrace for Sam, and who will help guide us on our journey.